Repentance
by Kurissyma san Tybalt
Summary: <html><head></head>An annual Yevonite festival of repentance on Besaid Island yields interesting results when Gippal lets slip to Rikku that Paine is a lesbian... PAINE/RIKKU, LULU/WAKKA.</html>
1. Chapter 1: Day 5

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey,you! It's been a while since I've delved into Final Fantasy fanfiction (or fanfiction at all, really), but we all knew the stress of year 12 exams could have only one possibly outcome… Yes. That's right. Rather than studying, I have started playing FFX-2 AGAIN. And to mark the occasion I give you this—a fair enough trade off for the drama essays I should have been learning for tomorrows exam, if you ask me. Those of you who know me will know that I'm traditionally a Paine/Baralai sort of girl, but I thought I'd try something different. Anyone offended by blatant homosexuality should probably stop reading here. ^_ So, without further ado, I leave you. Please don't forget to drop me a line if you enjoyed it! – Becky.**

**Chapter 1: Day 5**

It was near midnight on the fifth day of the festival when Gippal arrived, and Rikku couldn't help but feel a little put out. _Yes,_ Besaid's 'Eight Days of Repentence' was a Yevonite festival, and _yes_, Gippal was an Al Bhed (she was too!) but she had specifically asked him to come—the big meanie! Anyway, to add insult to injury, now the fifth day—_his_ day—was almost over and he snuck off with Paine rather than see her? As if she wouldn't have heard him land?

Growling irritably to herself Rikku trudged down the dirt path to the beach. It had been Yuna's idea to invite Gippal. He wasn't much for Yevon, but he was _big_ on festivals, and besides that—she needed him to take part. The festival was an annual one, lasting just over a week, which involved seeking out eight different people one had wronged in one's lifetime in order to make amends. And Gippal was Rikku's number 5, gosh-dammit!

"Oh Poopie…" Rikku whispered to herself as she rounded the corner onto the beach. She could see Gippal all right. Just as she'd been told by Aurochs she'd passed on the way down, he had taken Paine down to the pier, where they now sat, unbearably close, with their legs dangling into the water below them.

In the moonlight, Paine looked even more beautiful than ever, and Rikku wondered if it was jealousy that constricted her heart so as she hung back and watched them both. She was gorgeous, and she had a whole history with Gippal that Rikku herself would never know about. …So was she jealous? She'd always liked Gippal, so it would be natural, wouldn't it? For her to be jealous...?

And yet that wasn't it.

In fact, as she crept closer through the sound-muffling sand, the gentle curve of Paine's jaw even brought an unwilling smile to Rikku's face. Unexplainably, she felt the urge to sit where Gippal sat then—so close—and to reach out… He was close enough. Rikku wondered how he kept himself from extending a hand to touch her cheek. She wasn't sure if even _she_ could…

Breathing in deeply, Rikku forced herself to approach, even as her earlier anger began to melt away.

"Are you _sure_ nothing went on between you guys two years ago?" she wheedled cheekily, making her presence known, and she took a brief sort of delight in the way Gippal jumped, and had to feign scratching his head to disguise the movement from behind.

"Hey, Cid's girl. I didn't think you'd be up," he chuckled, a little awkwardly, as he stood. "I would've come said 'hi'."

Rikku narrowed her eyes slightly at the nickname, but nodded. "What'cha doing out here on the pier getting all lovey-dovey with Dr P?" she pouted, and this time a look of genuine confusion passed over Gippal's face as he glanced down at Paine.

"She don't know, P?" he laughed lightly.

Rikku couldn't see Paine's face—she still sat with her back to her, looking out to sea—but she didn't miss the brief quiver of her shoulders in the half-light of the moon.

"Know what?" Rikku whined, and when Paine sought neither to explain herself, nor to prevent him from doing so for her, Gippal shook his head.

"Paine's a lesbian," he told her simply.

And for some reason or other, the words impacted Rikku more than she'd ever have suspected they could, and she found herself in a rare, if brief, state of speechlessness. Eventually, though, she had to ask—as though she might somehow have mistaken his frank confession—"You… like girls, Paine?"

As if after a lifetime of silence, Paine turned to glance up at Rikku over her shoulder. "You have a problem with that?"

Her voice was its usual unwavering monotone, but Rikku detected a flash in her eyes that was unfamiliar and startling. Unsettled, she shook her head vigorously. "You just never said," she murmured, a little hurt.

Paine stood now. "You never asked," she replied plainly, and with a hand raised in parting toward Gippal she left without another word. Just as silently, Gippal followed, leaving Rikku alone on the pier in her confusion.

She sighed deeply.

"Oh _poopie_…"

There had been several times when Paine could have told her that she was gay, Rikku told herself, attempting to reason away her shock… and that other naggling feeling that had overcome her since the revelation. When she'd asked about she and Nooj—when she'd _taunted_ her, _teased_ her about him—she could have ended it in an instant.

"I'm gay."

It would have been that simple.

So why hadn't she?

This was the question that Rikku feared the most. Was it just the older woman's stubborn pride, or her characteristic detachedness that had prevented her from telling her? Was it just that Paine had never been one to share details of her private life with _anyone_? …Or was it something more sinister? Did Paine really not feel that she could trust Rikku? Did she expect her to react badly? Worse still—_had _she reacted badly? In Paine's eyes?

In the darkness of the night it had been difficult to judge Paine's reaction to Gippal's revelation, but now, standing beneath the dim lights that illuminated Besaid Temple by night, Rikku imagined a single tear rolling down her friend's cheek—unseen. Of course, unseen. And who really knew what went on inside Paine's head, anyway? Behind her walls?

Hugging herself against the cold breeze, Rikku tried to picture it. She tried to picture Paine engaged in a tender, emotional kiss with another woman. Yet the image eluded her.

What sort of woman would Paine go for, she wondered. And how would she express her feelings? Relationships had never been Paine's strong point after all… But maybe that was unfair.

Alone now, Rikku allowed herself to admit that, despite her withdrawn nature, Paine had always been a true and loyal friend to her. She may have been quiet, she may not have told her everything she ever wanted to know… but when it counted, she was there. She was always ready and willing to help, in her own way—her gentle logic perfectly complementing Rikku's own buoyant spirit of adventure.

And for a second, Rikku found herself imagining just what it would be like to be on the receiving end of that tender, emotional kiss. She imagined the gentle flutter of Paine's eyelids as they closed, the softness of her lips as they opened, and the gentle touch of one of those black silk-gloved hands on her cheek.

And then she gasped.

It had been too easy—far too easy—and, despite herself, Rikku was frightened. Immediately she tried to change the subject but her mind was hooked. The kiss replayed itself again and again in her mind, each time a tiny bit longer, a tiny bit clearer, sending a tiny bit more heat rushing to her core and to her cheeks until suddenly they were blazing red and she had begun to cry in frustration.

Crouched on the cobbled stone steps of the temple, her head down to her knees, Rikku didn't notice Gippal approaching until he was beside her, stroking her back, and without looking up, she pillowed into him—desperate to feel his hard, masculine form supporting her—…and yet inside a yearning had been struck up for something softer and she had a sudden vision of the creamy white of Paine's skin in the moonlight.

Helplessly, Rikku let all her tears out into Gippal's shoulder, pouring like rain down her cheeks for a reason she couldn't yet begin to fathom herself. All she knew was that, out of nowhere, it felt like her world had been turned upside down. Yevon knew why it should, but it did. Indeed, for whatever reason, Paine's sexuality appeared to be having a somewhat traumatic effect on poor Rikku, and Gippal was sympathetic, but certainly not blind, to it.

Eventually she forced herself to breathe and pulled away, wiping her eyes on her arm. It was freezing by then, but she scooted a couple of inches away from Gippal and shook her head apologetically as she rubbed her arms up and down for heat.

"I—I'm sorry for never supporting you when you wanted to be a Crusader. I'm sorry for being happy when they told you we Al Bheds weren't welcome in their Yevonite army. I'm sorry for resenting you for going off to join the Crimson Squad two years ago instead of staying home with me, like I guess I always thought you would… I'm sorry—"

"Rikku, that's enough," Gippal whispered, taking her back into his arms gently. "I know."

"But it's the 'Eight Days of Repentence,'" Rikku whispered, explaining herself. "And I really wanted you to be here so I could— so I could tell you—"

"I know," Gippal repeated. "But you have nothing to be sorry for."

Rikku sniffed again and shook her head, but allowed herself to be embraced by Gippal in silence for a short while.

"I want to talk to you about Paine," he admitted eventually, pulling back to look into her eyes, and Rikku felt her heart flutter.

"I—I don't know why I'm crying," she whispered. "It's not that I— I don't think there's anything wrong…"

"Don't tell me you're crying because you actually wanted me and Paine to get together?" Gippal joked, the reappearance of his trademark grin causing laughter to bubble helplessly from Rikku.

"No, that's not it," she laughed weakly. "I don't know what it is… Don't tell Paine I was crying, okay? I don't want her to think I'm upset, or that I don't support her."

"I don't think Paine thinks that," Gippal replied, shrugging. "But maybe you should tell her… Rikku, what's wrong? Your face just turned white?"

Rikku merely shook her head dazedly. "I don't know… I don't know if I can talk to her," she whispered, and then shook her head again, more frantically at the disbelieving look on Gippal's face. "Not because—!" She breathed in deeply here. "Not because… But really because…" She glanced up at him helplessly, willing him, with her wide, green eyes, to understand what she couldn't say. …Typically, he was clueless. "I don't know why," Rikku went on finally, in a dangerously quiet whisper Gippal strained to hear, "But thinking of Paine like that… I— I thought about kissing her."

Gippal watched seriously as Rikku breathed in deeply and awaited his response, aware of the delicate state his dear little friend was in. "When you say you thought about 'kissing' her…" he began slowly, carefully, "Do you mean…?"

"I mean _really_ kissing her, Gippal," Rikku replied, more firmly now that she'd got it off her chest. "I was walking around here—too awake and too shocked, I guess, to go to sleep—and I was thinking, and when I was thinking… Well, I tried to imagine Paine doing that, y'know? And then the next thing I knew I was imagining _us_… doing… that…"

"It could be that you're just shocked, Rikku, or even a little curious…?"

"I know, but…" Rikku breathed in deeply again here and looked up at Gippal earnestly. "The way I felt when I pictured it… And it wouldn't go away— The picture I had— So gentle… Because you can tell her lips are so soft, just like her skin. Her skin is so smooth, isn't it Gippal? In the moon tonight it looked like she was made of eggshells. When I saw you two… I wondered how you could resist reaching out to touch it. And I… The spot beneath her ear, on her jawline…? I wanted to rest my hand there and feel her pulse, and then run my thumb down her jaw to her… Her lips looked so soft…"

Rikku blinked dazedly at the images that plagued her once again, but instead of shaking her out of it Gippal watched her dream—the gentle, satisfied look on her face was something new to him. She had such a tender look about her that he didn't want to disturb her… But it was late, and she was clearly cold, and so Gippal touched her arm gently.

"Cid's girl, time for bed," he called quietly. "You're exhausted. Your mind is playing tricks on you."

"Do you think that's all it is?" Rikku wondered, a little hopefully, as she allowed Gippal to help her to her feet, and he considered her a moment before answering.

"…Don't you?"

Rikku bit her lip gently and shook her head, then nodded, then shook her head again. "I don't know… I— Gippal, I don't know. I've never wanted so much to just reach out and touch someone… It's such a strange compulsion, but it feels like it's coming from somewhere deep inside me. It feels… real."

Gippal's brow furrowed slightly as he brushed Rikku's hair back to kiss her forehead. "Go to bed," he repeated gently. "Tomorrow you can think back on all of this in the light of day."

Rikku nodded slowly, then paused. "Tomorrow…" she repeated. "I've got three more days of the repentence festival."

"Who else have you got in mind?" Gippal asked, walking her up to the door of the hut she shared with Yuna and Paine on the island.

"Uhm… Lulu, Yuna… and Paine," Rikku replied, biting her lip lightly.

"See Lulu tomorrow," Gippal advised immediately. "Repent to her, or whatever you're supposed to do, and then ask her advice. She's a mum now. Mum's are good at that sort of thing."

Blinking up at him in surprise, Rikku felt a smile spreading across her face as she leaned up to kiss his cheek goodnight. "Thanks, Gippal," she told him. "You've helped me a lot."

Gippal shook his head and grinned in response. "Hey, don't worry about it," he replied genuinely. "Sweet dreams now… Cid's girl."


	2. Chapter 2: Day 6, Part 1

**Chapter 2: Day 6, Part 1**

With Paine sleeping only a few steps away, Rikku's own sleep that night was fitful at best and by the time the sun rose she was simply lying awake on one side, watching the gentle rise and fall of Paine's chest across the room, and the way one hand tangled in the blankets beside her. Out of nowhere it struck her that she could fall in love with this woman. Her sharp humour, but also her incredible gentleness when warranted... She had been living with them for nearly two years now. Surely she could continue to. In fact, the thought that Paine might ever leave the Gullwings—leave _her_—was… Rikku closed her eyes in brief pain. It was awful.

Yuna awoke next—with a small yawn and a long, languid stretch that went entirely unnoticed by Rikku, still watching Paine across the room. In the moments that followed, Yuna thought to say good morning, but held her tongue. There was something in the way Rikku lay that morning—so stiff, as though afraid to move, and with such a look on her face… almost fearful, but in the same instant, tender toward Paine.

"Good morning," she said eventually, pulling up into a sitting position, and smiling at Rikku's shock.

"Morning…" Paine mumbled in reply, and Yuna watched Rikku's cheeks turn an even brighter shade of red at the realization that she had been awake all along.

"Sleep well?"

Looking at Rikku it was blatantly clear that she had _not_ slept well, and Yuna had a vague inkling why. For whatever reason, neither Rikku nor Paine had returned last night until long after midnight and, glancing between them now, she wondered what on earth could have gone on in that time.

"Okay," Rikku babbled. "Gippal arrived late."

"Oh really?" Yuna replied, smiling. "Did you three get up to anything interesting?"

This time Paine answered—a simple, monotone, "No," as she got to her feet and crossed to her bag on the floor.

Once again, Yuna watched Rikku as Paine turned her back—the way she followed the older girl's movements as though captivated. What _had_ gone on last night?

"I should say 'hi'," Yuna supposed, also getting out of bed, and, blindly, Rikku followed them, adjusting her voluminous blonde hair in the mirror on the dresser in front of Paine.

"Give us a minute, we'll all go," she said, putting on as bright a tone as she could muster, but Yuna didn't miss the way her breath caught as Paine stood with her clothes, ending up just a little too close to Rikku and flashing her a somewhat guarded look before glancing away.

Gathering their clothes, each retreated to a corner of the room to dress themselves, backs to each other, and left the hut in silence.

"Who are you repenting to today?" Yuna asked conversationally as they walked out into the sun. "I was thinking of talking to Wakka."

"Ooh, I'll come with!" Rikku exclaimed brightly. "I need to steal Lulu off him."

Yuna nodded, smiling, and turned to Paine. "What about you?"

Paine barely glanced at her, shaking her head. "If I were sorry I'd say it at any time of the year. A festival of repentance is about as false as you can get."

"You're not taking part?" Yuna deduced, a little disappointedly, and although Paine didn't respond, the answer was clearly 'no'.

"Well… I think it's important!" Rikku exclaimed suddenly, looking a little put out. "It's hard to tell someone you're sorry—especially when you're bringing up something that's happened in the past—and this festival is all about getting over your stubbornness and just _doing it_ _anyway_! …It's important!"

"And don't forget the feast at the end," Yuna giggled. "It'll be nice to enjoy the party without feeling weighed down by everything that's happened."

"I'm going to spend the day with Gippal," Paine replied off-handedly. "Tell me if anyone confesses everything interesting."

Pouting, Rikku couldn't help but mumble, "They already did…" and, catching her eye, Paine walked away with an unusual sort of anger about her—usually so calm—that made her regret it instantly.

"I'm sorry!" she called after her, but Paine was having none of it, calling back without turning around—

"Don't include me in your stupid festival!"

To her credit, Yuna didn't ask Rikku what was going on between she and Paine immediately, although she must have been curious. Instead, she did as she'd said she would and took Wakka out, leaving Rikku to Lulu's able advice. But all day, the questions did not leave her.

"Wakka, I'm sorry for running away and making you worried," Yuna admitted, as she sat beside him on the sand later that day. "I should have told you what I saw in that sphere, but it was too soon and I let Rikku take me away. …Sorry."

"No worries, ya," Wakka replied easily. "I'm just glad you came home safe to see the baby! He looks just like Lu now, doesn't he?"

"I don't know, Wakka. He definitely has your mouth," Yuna replied—the usual compromise.

"Loud little thing, isn't he," Wakka agreed sheepishly.

"That's not what I meant!"

Laughing, Wakka lay back on the sand and gazed up at the sky. "The way I see it, you don't have anything to be sorry for. Everything turned out just like it should have. Me and Lu here with Vidina, you out in the world with the Gullwings… Sure, we miss you. 'Course we do, ya… But we're glad you're making friends, having fun. That's all me and Lu really wanted."

"…I've been hearing his whistle," Yuna admitted suddenly. "You know, _his_ whistle… And I can't help but hope he's coming home."

Wakka propped himself up on his elbows to study Yuna slowly and shrugged. "With that kid… stranger things have happened, ya. But don't go wastin' your life waiting, that's all," he advised, and Yuna nodded.

"I know," she agreed, with a little smile, but she still whistled back out to the sea, just in case.

In the village, Rikku's list of things to apologise for was longer and, knowingly, Lulu let her talk. Clearly she'd planned this all out in advance.

"I'm sorry for bugging you on the pilgrimage. And for making faces behind your back. For hiding your moogle in Wakka's room and making you think he'd stolen it. For holding us up in the Thunder Plains. For screaming every time you used a thunder spell. For almost drowning you in the Moonflow, and unbraiding your hair while you were sleeping that one time in Macalania Woods so you had to redo it the next morning and it took hours…"

While Rikku talked, Lulu moved around the kitchen languidly, beginning preparations for lunch with Vidina balanced on her hip. "Hold the baby for a second," she cut in briefly, placing Vidina into Rikku's arms as she fired up the stove.

Rikku faltered in her list to coo as she received the baby, but soon continued firing off her sins. "I'm sorry for teasing you about Wakka on the ship. And trying to force you together in strange hijinks for practically the entire pilgrimage. I'm sorry for treading on your dress and tearing the hem on Mount Gagazet. And that one time—"

"Hold this too, won't you?" Lulu cut in again, this time handing Rikku a plate of raw meat as she fussed about in a cupboard.

"Hey, are you even listening, Lulu?" Rikku exclaimed, put out by the older woman's disinterest. "I went to a lot of trouble for this!"

Her back turned to Rikku, Lulu smiled in hidden appreciation. "I know," she admitted, "But I forgave you for all of those silly things years ago."

"Even—"

"Rikku, does it look like I hold a grudge against you?"

Rikku blinked considerately and glanced between Lulu and the baby in her arms. "I guess not," she agreed with a smile, and Lulu nodded.

"So why don't you tell me what's really bothering you?"

This, Rikku was not prepared for, and the look on her face said so.

"You've been babbling all morning," Lulu informed her, "And while this is normal for you, to a degree, it's still a little worrying. You look troubled. …And you used the 'moogle' story last year."

Rikku gawked at Lulu's back disbelievingly as she cooked, and her mouth still hung slightly open as Lulu turned back to retrieve the plate of meat she had been holding. From a box on the counter, she popped a raisin into Rikku's hanging mouth for good measure.

Rikku closed it, and chewed thoughtfully before swallowing.

"It's Paine," she admitted, although this much was obvious.

"You're jealous she's spending the day with Gippal?" Lulu supposed, and Rikku wished desperately that that were the case, but it wasn't. Lulu caught her hesitation and frowned. "Then what…?"

"She's gay," Rikku blurted out and then, before she could stop herself, added, "Maybe I am too."

Lulu did her the credit of turning around this time, dropping the meat onto the stove to start cooking before sitting down next to her. "'Maybe…?'"

Rikku breathed in deeply, a little relieved, despite herself. She'd half expected Lulu to rip the baby out of her arms, after all. "I don't know," she admitted. "Gippal told me _she_ was, and ever since, I… Well, I can't stop thinking about her."

"Does Gippal know what he's talking about?" Lulu asked seriously, and Rikku felt her heart drop into her stomach.

What if he was wrong? What if he'd been _kidding_? What if—? …But no, she'd admitted it hadn't she? Rikku struggled in vain to remember Paine's exact words, but she thought she'd admitted it… Maybe she hadn't…

Lulu watched the solemn concentration cementing on Rikku's face curiously. She was sure she'd never seen this side of Rikku before, and yet it was odd. Lulu wondered if there had been signs she had missed along the way—that they'd all missed.

"I think he does," Rikku supposed eventually. "I think Paine admitted it… she didn't deny it…"

"That's a start," Lulu encouraged her gently, reaching over to ruffle Vidina's hair. "But what about you…?"

"It's a strange feeling," Rikku mumbled. "I don't know if I can explain it…"

Lulu sat back in her chair slowly and thought. "When I see Wakka, I smile," she admitted, in a tone more personal than Rikku often heard from her. "If not on the outside, then inside. It feels warm. Like I'm complete because he's there. I don't need him to protect me, but I feel safer when he's with me. And I always feel like touching his arm, or his back, or holding his hand. I like feeling close to him."

Rikku blushed as she imagined holding hands with Paine. She hardly seemed the type, and yet Rikku couldn't get the picture out of her head. She'd touched Paine's arm before—felt how silky soft those long gloves of hers were (been desperate to try them on—although she'd never asked…). She imagined holding Paine's hand now, intertwining their fingers, maybe placing her other hand on top gently. And saying… Saying…

Rikku's blush deepened and she nodded. "Yes, like that," she admitted quickly. "I… I like feeling close to her too."

"Wakka's very open, but it's harder with Paine, isn't it?" Lulu supposed, casting a brief glance back to her cooking. "She's not so approachable."

"She hasn't said a word to me since last night," Rikku admitted, bouncing Vidina lightly. "Well, except to snap at me…"

"You'll figure it out, Rikku," Lulu assured her gently. "Make sure she knows you're not upset or uncomfortable, and then give her some space to think."

Rikku nodded slowly, then bit her lip. "She's gay," she repeated, reaching the core of her insecurities now. "But what if she doesn't like me? At all? I know she thinks I'm annoying—"

"Wakka's annoying," Lulu told her, with a dismissive smile as she got up to tend to lunch again. "Doesn't mean I don't love him…" She glanced out the door briefly and smiled as she saw Wakka and Yuna approaching. "…Speak of the devil."


	3. Chapter 3: Day 6, Part 2

**Chapter 3: Day 6, Part 2**

When Paine returned to the village around lunchtime it was not with Gippal, as Rikku had expected, but with one of the village women, whom Rikku did not know by name, and she felt an irrational plume of jealousy fire up inside of her, unbidden. It had only been last night that Rikku had learned that Paine was gay, and the rational part of her mind knew that she had no claim to her, and yet she couldn't help but scowl to herself as she watched them part—Paine and this unknown woman—as Paine walked over to join them for lunch.

"Who was that?" Yuna asked the question Rikku wanted to in a far less accusatory tone than she might have, and Paine replied simply that her name was Cyrrha, and that she was one of the island's weaver-women. Gippal had attempted to chat her up on the beach and she had rescued her. Gippal—she added—was on his way.

Sitting down to lunch half an hour later, Lulu keenly observed the way in which Paine and Rikku interacted—which was to say: not at all. Repeatedly Rikku would glance over at her only to find her engaged in another direction entirely. Her gaze would linger, and then fall, and then she would resolutely pin her eyes on the wall opposite and furiously begin shoveling food into her mouth.

Lulu no longer had any doubt that Rikku was smitten with her, and yet Paine was more difficult to read. She seemed oblivious to Rikku's attempts to catch her eye, and yet she couldn't be—could she? Surely, following whatever had transpired between them the night before, she too was more aware of Rikku than ever? Surely the inattention was a practiced charade, and Lulu wondered if arriving with the weaver-woman hadn't been just as calculated.

She dropped the thought, however, as Wakka began talking to her, leaving Rikku to sulk in peace.

"Have you finished groveling to Wakka?" Rikku overheard Paine ask, causing Yuna to laugh good-naturedly.

"Yes, I've finished my repentance for today," she replied. "How did you go with Gippal?"

Paine didn't respond for a moment and then, unbelievably, smiled. Rikku watched with eyes wide in appreciation.

"He hasn't changed," Paine answered, shaking her head. "He's still just as childish."

The fondness in her voice was real and immense, and Rikku wondered for a second if Gippal _could have_ been wrong—if she really did like him after all—but that thought was quickly squashed. "He's like my little brother—so it was my duty to squash his romantic efforts with Cyrrha."

"Of course!" Yuna giggled, tossing a smile at Rikku that did not go unnoticed by Paine.

For the first time since that morning, she turned to face her. The bare remains of a smile still edging at the corners of her lips. "How did you go, Rikku?"

For her part, Rikku's breath caught at being addressed directly, and with no hint of spite. It took her a few moments to choke out a response that she had gone well—that she'd said everything that she'd meant to to Lulu and— and— …Rikku faltered, unsure of how to go on.

Fortunately, Yuna swooped in good-heartedly here.

"Did you apologise for almost setting her house on fire that one time you tried to cook?" she asked, and Rikku admitted that she'd forgotten to—reaching over to tap Lulu on the shoulder to do just that.

Beside her, Yuna began to explain to Paine the long story of how Rikku had managed to give the entire island severe food poisoning _and_ almost burn Lulu's house down all in one tragic episode and, watching out of the corner of her eye, Rikku didn't miss the slight note of amusement she caught from Paine.

What _had_ put her in such a good mood between that morning and lunch…? Rikku wasn't sure she wanted to know, and yet she was curious. She wanted to say something. And Lulu had said to let her know that she wasn't uncomfortable or upset…

After lunch the six of them, along with the baby, walked down to the beach to sit for a while and Rikku made a point to sit beside Paine this time, rather than beside Yuna on her other side—forcing herself to build up the courage to make her support known in some tangible way as they talked… But how, with so many people around…?

Glancing down at the space between them and glimpsing Paine's hand mere inches from her own, Rikku had the strongest urge to simply lean over and take it in hers. Or to run her fingertips up that slender, black-gloved arm. Or…

To keep herself from staring, Rikku trying to engage in the story that Yuna was telling, laughing at all the appropriate times, but finally, she worked up her nerve, and in one smooth motion, adjusted her weight to allow her hand to fall and cover Paine's.

Paine's gaze on Yuna barely flickered at the contact, and she continued to appear intent on the story, so Rikku considered this a small triumph and allowed her hand to remain there, over Paine's in the sand, listening to her quiet laughter as Yuna reached the climax of her story. Rikku laughed too, for good measure, maybe a little too suddenly, because she soon found all eyes on her.

And for a moment, Rikku panicked, but she soon realized that they were waiting for her input, rather than scrutinizing her. She must have appeared to have had something to say…

It only took Rikku a few moments to rack her brains for an appropriate story, and she soon began an animated retelling that focused all attention on her grinning face and bubbling laughter and off her rapidly flushing cheeks. In this way, the moment of anxiety passed and the group fell back into casual conversation with one another.

Rikku breathed out deeply.

Beside her, she felt Paine shift and, fearing she was about to move her hand away, Rikku withdrew hers first, only to feel Paine's settle on top of it as she placed it back down in the sand. Her heart leapt as the sleek, smooth thumb of Paine's gloved hand brushed back and forth over the back of her hand—up to her wrist and down to the first knuckle of her index finger in slow, smooth motions.

Watching her out of the corner of her eye, Rikku wondered if she did it unconsciously—although it seemed unlike her. But, beside her, Paine seemed to have no concept of the effect she was having on Rikku, and continued her occasional, thoughtful input into the conversation.

While Rikku, for her part, was stunned into silence.

The six of them sat on the beach until the sun began to set, at which point Wakka jumped to his feet and declared that he wanted one last swim for the day and looked around for volunteers to join him. Paine stood almost immediately, giving Rikku's hand a brief squeeze before releasing it, and, still in shock, Rikku stumbled to her feet after her.

No _way_ was she missing out on this!

Leaving Yuna and Lulu seated with Vidina on the beach, Gippal also got to his feet and picked up a blitzball lying nearby in the sand from the Aurochs' practice. "Two on two," he declared, with a cheeky wink toward Rikku. "Me and Cid's girl against Paine and Wakka. No rules." A wide grin spread across his face here. "All's fair in love and war."

"And which is this?" Paine asked, a small smile cracking across her face.

"This?" Gippal repeated, raising an eyebrow. "War most cruel, my love."

And with that, he grabbed Rikku by the hand, so recently free of Paine's, and pulled her into the water after him.

The water was cooling rapidly, but Rikku felt hot—both from the exercise, and something else… It was hard not to notice the way Paine's hands felt on her as they grappled and tackled for the ball, and when she had accidentally brushed her breast in a grab for the blitzball, Rikku had thought she might simply float away…

But it was time to get real now. The score was 4-all and the light was rapidly fading, along with their chance to play. There was only time for one last goal, and Rikku was determined that it be her and Gippal's and not Paine and Wakka's. She was also determined that she would not be distracted this time.

…Meanwhile, Paine had formulated a cruel but apt plan. She had seen the way Rikku had reacted to her touch throughout the game, and whether it was because she was unnerved by the touch of an out lesbian, or because she felt… _something_ in it, Paine was going to use it to score a goal past Gippal and end the match.

So it was with this tactic in mind that the two of them dived for the ball for the last time, and Paine grabbed her by the thigh to pull her back. Only, in the rush of the moment, she reached higher than even she had meant to, and found herself brushing Rikku's barely covered crotch before she could pull her hand back.

Fighting a blush, Paine refused to waver, grabbing her leg and hurling a shocked, flushing Rikku aside before grabbing the ball and swimming for her life toward Gippal and the goal. Just a few more metres and she could make the shot…

"Hey!" Rikku yelled, grabbing Paine's ankle and climbing her way up her body shamelessly. "That's _my ball_."

But Paine wasn't prepared to give it up, and so they struggled—near naked bodies clashing and grappling at one another but barely noticing it now. Time was running out for the last goal.

"I don't think so," Paine hissed, pressing a crooked knee into Rikku's stomach to try and push her off.

Rikku only pushed harder, and the knee slipped down between her legs, causing her to gasp, and Paine to grab the ball and make off with it.

She shot, missing as Rikku grabbed her by the waist, and Rikku recovered it, darting down toward Wakka and the opposite goal, while Paine remained in shock.

_Oh no she didn't…_

"They're really getting into this game, aren't they!" Yuna exclaimed, watching them from the beach, causing Lulu to chucking knowingly.

"There's a lot at stake," she replied elusively.

Twenty minutes later the sun had gone down and the two, desperate girls had been pried apart by their respective teammates for a reluctant draw.

Back on the beach, laughs were shared all around as the girls sulked over their loss.

"Shake hands now, ya," Wakka teased, gripping Gippal's hand briefly to demonstrate. "Fair's fair."

Just as reluctantly, a small smile broke across Rikku's face as Wakka and Gippal began to reenact their fierce competition mockingly, and she turned to see a similar smile edging at the corner of Paine's lips.

"But she doesn't play fair!" Rikku whined good-naturedly, causing Lulu to laugh.

"I don't know," she joked. "I saw you pull some pretty low blows there myself…"

"_Really_," Paine emphasized, rubbing her hip, as though to make the point, and reluctantly, Rikku held out her hand.

"Good game?" she offered sheepishly, and Paine shook it with a grin.

"I don't know, I think there needs to be a rematch in the light of day…" she replied.

They stood like that for a few long moments, eyes locked and hands joined before they began to laugh, and Paine started to withdraw her hand to follow the others, who had already turned to walk up the hill to the village.

In the privacy of the darkening night, at the end of the line, however, Rikku maintained her grasp on Paine's hand, squeezing it in a gentle, affectionate manner that caused Paine to glance over in unmasked surprise.

Their eyes met again, this time more deeply, but neither spoke, and, hand-in=hand, they began the slow ascent to the village and a well-deserved rest.


	4. Chapter 4: Days 7 and 8

**Chapter 4: Days 7 and 8**

Throughout the night, Paine remembered the feeling of Rikku's hand in hers, willingly given. Behind the ever-stony mask she wore, Rikku's affection had made her heart beat faster than she had thought possible, and her mind had screamed warnings and encouragements at her in turn.

But Rikku was just being _Rikku_, she tried to tell herself. She was trying to show support in the only way she knew how. …It was just a pity that that meant confusing the hell out of Paine's poor heart at the same time. For, as much as she wanted to squeeze her hand back, she knew that the gentle connection probably meant more to her than it did to Rikku. She knew that Rikku's heart couldn't be beating the same way, and that _Rikku's_ breathlessness was only residual from the difficult struggle they had undergone in the water.

In the same way… Rikku's hand was wet from the sea. Paine's was damp with the anxiety of being held in that of the person whom, against all odds, she had fallen so deeply and irrevocably in love with.

That was simply the way things were, and she had to deal with it.

…All the same, she prayed that Rikku might take her hand again, even in such a platonic way, before they had to leave the island.

With Rikku and Yuna pairing up for the day's apologies, Paine was unsure what to do with herself on the seventh day of the festival. The Celsius was gone—giving Lulu, Wakka and little Vidina a lift to Gagazet, to make amends with Kimahri—and Gippal had disappeared early in the morning with that pretty, young weaver-woman, Cyrrha, leaving her alone on the island with nothing to do.

And usually loneliness wouldn't have been a problem for her… except that she had grown used to the company of belonging to the Gullwings, to never having a moment's privacy, and to never having to be alone with her thoughts. And now that she _was_ it was difficult to think of any real way to pass the day.

The morning Paine spent fighting fiends on the hill, but looking down at the packed beach to the left and the bustling village to the right made her feel lonelier than usual, and she soon tired of fighting alone.

Briefly, as she returned to the village, she entertained the idea of involving herself in the festival, which she had diminished as "stupid" only the day before. But who would she apologise to? Where would she begin? When she allowed herself to think about it, there were many people she owed apologies for her actions.

Rikku. She owed Rikku an apology…

Catching movement out of the corner of her eye, Paine was surprised to see Cyrrha approaching her, and turned to give her her attention.

"Hi!" she called, jogging up. "Remember me?"

Cyrrha was lean, with a bright face and long, silky-looking brown hair, tied up in a knot on her head. She was uncommonly pretty, with particularly vibrant eyes, and Paine hadn't forgotten her, but she feigned difficulty anyway.

"You're, uh, Cyrrha. You were with Gippal."

At the mention of Gippal's name, Cyrrha made a face and shook her head. "I asked him to introduce us, properly, but for some reason he was reluctant…" She batted her eyelashes prettily. "But I guess you know who I am. And I know that your name is Paine, right…?"

A little unnerved, but never one to show it, Paine nodded. "That's right." She glanced around briefly. …Oh well. What else was she going to do with her time? "Do you want to take a walk?"

Sitting with Cyrrha on an old machina atop the hill, Paine knew that she would _really_ have something to apologise about if Rikku passed her in such close conversation with another girl. For whatever reason, Cyrrha had made it clear that she was interested in Paine, and although Paine didn't return the feelings, there was a dark part of her that wondered if she mightn't just play dumb and use the whole thing to her advantage.

After all— if Rikku could be made jealous at all, this girl would be the reason. She was absolutely gorgeous and had no problem showing just how interested she was…

And so Paine sat them atop the machina at the crossroads, knowing it was only a matter of time before Rikku and Yuna passed through to return to the village, and allowed herself to fall into a comfortable conversation with the pretty weaver-woman, only perking up as she caught a flash of Rikku's vibrant hair approaching down the path from the bay.

Cyrrha didn't miss the reaction, and a sad smile flitted across her face as she watched Paine's eyes follow the young Al Bhed, who had yet to notice her. Oh, well… If she wanted to make that little thing jealous, Cyrrha wouldn't object to being used. No, in fact, she was sure she could quite enjoy it.

And so it was that as Rikku approached the giant machina at the crossroads, arm in arm with Yuna, she happened to glance up to see them kissing above her… and fled.

Paine tore herself away from Cyrrha and leapt off the machina, but Rikku was too fast—she'd already disappeared by the time she reached the village, leaving a stupefied Yuna jogging after Paine in complete and utter confusion.

"What— What just…?" she panted, shaking her head uncomprehendingly. "What just _happened_?"

Paine turned back to glance at Yuna, with Cyrrha standing not far behind, and for the first time in Yuna's memory, she could see Paine's emotions shining clear on her usually so guarded face. She was horrified. She looked positively sick. And Yuna's heart ached for her, but she was still so confused.

"What just happened?" she repeated, catching Paine's eye, but Paine was distracted again.

"Why would you do that?" she yelled up at Cyrrha. "Why would you do that in front of Rikku?"

Cyrrha, for her part, looked genuinely put out. "It's the '8 Days of Repentence'," she said simply. "All you've gotta do is go repent."

"Paine…?" Yuna whispered, but Paine just shook her head furiously and turned back into the village.

And so nobody slept that night either.

Rikku was back on the Celsius and pacing across the bridge by 10am on the last day of the festival. Of course, she had meant to repent to Paine today, but having seen_ that_ the day before, and, what's more, having revealed herself by running away… Rikku could hardly bear to look at her at all, let alone open herself up to her scrutiny.

Instead, she devoted all of her attention to being as cheerfully Rikku-like as she could manage, and avoiding any and all questions of actual substance as she moved her things from her room on the island back to the Celsius, ready to go.

Paine, for her part, was just as quiet as ever, having shed the vulnerability Yuna had so briefly glimpsed in her the day before and replaced it with a cold mask of indifference.

In fact, with everyone trying so hard to act normal, Yuna wondered that they were doing such a poor job. Even Buddy and Brother were giving the pair odd looks, and she was fairly sure that neither of them had a clue about what was going on… Not that she did either, really.

She hadn't expected it at all—that Paine would be interested in another woman. It's not that it was really very strange, merely that… Well, Yuna supposed she had never really been able to picture Paine being intimate with _anyone_. Sure, she had joked, along with Rikku, about she and Nooj, she and Gippal, she and Baralai, even… but she had never really believed it. Maybe part of her had known this about Paine all along, if unconsciously…

But then there was the matter of Rikku. Yuna had thought her in love with Gippal. She'd even briefly entertained the idea of she and Auron at one time. Never had there been any implication of _this_… had there?

Oh, there had been _moments_, she supposed, but she hadn't made anything of those. Paine and Rikku had always been close in their own way, but that was just _them_… wasn't it? That was just the way those two _were_…

Reluctantly, Yuna allowed herself to suppose for the first time that maybe it wasn't—that maybe there really _was_ something going on between her two friends that she had never noticed before.

Suddenly, she felt lonelier than ever.

"It was good to see you, Lulu," Yuna told her, as she and the others prepared to leave the island later that day. "You too, Wakka. That baby looks more like you every day."

"Aw, nah…" Wakka replied, scratching the back of his head bashfully. "Pity we never had that rematch, ya…" he then added, with a glance at Gippal over her shoulder. "You guys really have to go right away?"

It was Rikku who answered—and quickly. "Yeah. Gotta drop Gippal back to Djose Temple, don't we?" she sighed, turning to shoot a meaningful look at Gippal. "Sorry, daddy."

Gippal ignored her.

"No way," he replied firmly. "In fact, I'd _love_ to finish up that game before we head off."

Treading water in front of Paine once again, awaiting the blitz-off, Rikku couldn't believe she'd allowed herself to be talked back into the water. After seeing Paine kissing Cyrrha, all the blissful touches of their previous game had been marred with a new meaning, and she wasn't sure if she could take it again—not now.

Worse, even—Paine's cold demeanour could only mean that she was all too aware of Rikku's feelings for her, and, of course, that she didn't return them at all.

How could she touch her now? It couldn't possibly be the same again.

_3, 2, 1… BLITZ-OFF._

The call was loud and clear, but neither girl moved, and Gippal and Wakka shared a confused glance from their opposing goals as they watched the ball simply floating between them.

And then, suddenly, as though unaware of the eyes on her, Paine pushed it aside to step closer to Rikku purposefully, bowing her head a little as she did so.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, but clearly, for Rikku's sake. "Sorry for letting Gippal tell you I was gay, when I should have told you myself… Sorry for letting Cyrrha kiss me—for using her to see if I could make you jealous, and for letting you run away afterwards. I'm sorry if you thought that I didn't trust you enough to tell you, or that I didn't… _love_ you enough to make a move. But most of all, I'm sorry for calling this Repentance festival stupid… because you were right, and it takes a lot of courage. …I'm _sorry_."

Rikku stared up at Paine with tears prickling in her eyes and a lump rising in her throat, and it was all she could do to nod and whisper, "I forgive you," before Paine leaned down and, with that soft hand she had dreamed of for the past three nights, cupped her cheek and kissed her.

And it was every bit as magical as she had imagined.

"Hey, what is this, ya? What happened to you guys' fight? The 'eye of the tiger' and all that?" Wakka joked good-naturedly as Rikku and Paine parted. "We were all kind of hoping for a repeat performance!"

Smiling up at Paine, a mischievous look washed over Rikku's face as their eyes met. "Sorry, daddy!" she called, those eyes never leaving Paine's—striking up a challenge. "You count down again… This time we'll _really _fight…"

_Finis._


End file.
